The C-Section

Scrubbed in for the first time.
I was sweating like a pig.
Everything looked too clean,
a forest of humans clad in green.

Tips of fingers to top of elbow,
under nails, and back again.
Washed in Iodine for ten minutes,
touched the tap, had to do it again.

Got blood on my feet and OT chappals.
Watched the incision in horror and awe.
Put my hand in another's abdomen.
Helped pull the rectus apart.

Found out my glove size is 6.5
and the size of my brain minuscule.
I smelt blood. Suctioned it.
Got up to my wrists in it.

I saw life emerge, like a little rag doll.
Saw a baby pulled out,
pulled out with (force)ps.
And heard it make the most awesome sound.

Clamped the cord. And cut it.
Felt giddy as I did my first suture.
Felt nauseous. Had to step out.
Came back. Had to sit down.

Found a person to look up to.
Found a peace to hold on to.
Felt excitement like never before.
Confirmation of purpose and the promise of more.

More to learn. More to feel.
More of his glory will be revealed.
More to hear. \
Try to get over all fear.

So much to know...
Oh there is so much!
Felt inadequate. Small.
Humbled. In awe.

In awe of creation.
In awe of anesthesia.
In awe of absorb-able sutures,
and of negative airway pressure.

In awe of the fact that, yet,
anything can go wrong.
Or, that everything will go just fine,
as has been since Adam's day.